I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
