the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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