We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
