I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
