I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Randomize
