white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
