Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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