We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
