You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
