this boner is exhausting
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You pole danced in your parka.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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