Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
