had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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