Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
