He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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