We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
