i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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