I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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