He uses pillows to masturbate.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
