I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
