Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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