i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize