yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
