So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
