you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
