Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
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