dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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