what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize