there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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