Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
