Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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