I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
The power of my boobs compel you
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
