I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
