Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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