Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Sex in the backyard? Check.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
