So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
