I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
