I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
