do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
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