When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
