Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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