It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
