i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
