Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
