Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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