you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
