is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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