I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
