Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize