Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
