Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
